I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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