Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
