I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
