WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
there's paper in my vomit.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
so let's talk penis.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
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