you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
