I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
my liver is dry heaving
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
