Whod you bang
Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Randomize
