i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
