Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
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