I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
God, I missed his penis.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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