I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
