physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Randomize
