you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
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