Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
