can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
