He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
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