I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Boobs speak an international language.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Randomize
