Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
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