it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
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