i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
