i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
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