I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
i believe in u and ur pee
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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