Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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