At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
how does that bad decision feel?
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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