i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Redeem this text for a blowjob
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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