and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Randomize
