hotel room ftw
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
