I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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