I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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