I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
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