My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
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I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
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