how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Randomize
