I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Randomize
