cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Randomize
