Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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