Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
