I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
