so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
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