Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
We had sex on a dog bed..
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
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