love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize
