we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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