I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
