i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Randomize
