I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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