Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
