what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
