I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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