I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
