I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
