Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
We got so high we made milksteak
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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