Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Randomize
