This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
