Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
