yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Randomize
