i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
