Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Randomize
