So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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