I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
