i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
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We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
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