who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
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