Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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