I'm drive I can fine osifer
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
