I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
